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"I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy."

by Steven Wright

"The library is the temple of learning, and learning has liberated more people than all the wars in history."

by Carl T. Rowan

"Every time I get something under control in my own life, the world provides more material."

by Cathy Guisewite

"I am probably the most selfish man you will ever meet in your life. No one gets the satisfaction or the joy that I get out of seeing kids realize there is hope."

by Jerry Lewis

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